Sometimes the best parenting lessons don't come from books or experts. They come from the backseat, the dinner table, or a sleepy Friday-night chat with your kid.
This is one of those times. And honestly? I didn't know how much I'd need the lesson until three days later.
Friday night: wisdom from my son
On Friday night, my son told me something that stopped me in my tracks. He doesn't like it when people call him fat.
My heart sank. But before I could say much, he kept going. His teacher had told the class that when someone is feeling small inside, they sometimes try to make other people feel small too. That's why kids tease and make fun of each other. It's a way to bring someone else down to where they are.
Then he looked at me, so serious and so sweet, and said, "So really, they feel bad about themselves."
I asked him, "So what should you do?"
We talked it through together. Instead of letting them make you small, you make them feel big. Be kind. Give them a compliment. Show them the thing they're missing.
I went to bed that night feeling so proud of him. I had no idea how soon we'd need those words.
Monday: momma bear mode
Fast forward to Monday. My daughter walked through the door in tears.
Someone at school was being mean to her. She was scared. And through her sobs, she told me she was never going back.
If you're a parent, you know that feeling. Something fierce wakes up inside you. Full momma bear mode. I picked up the phone, called the school, and demanded answers. Nobody gets to make my daughter feel that way.
Easier said than felt
Once I calmed down a little, I sat with my daughter and shared what her brother had taught me just a few days earlier. The girl saying those hurtful things is probably feeling really low about herself, so she's taking it out on you.
But here's the thing. It was hard for her to take in. And I get it.
When you're the one who's hurting, it's not easy to feel sorry for the person hurting you. Understanding why someone is unkind doesn't make the words sting any less. That's true for kids, and if we're being honest, it's true for us grown-ups too.
So I didn't push. I just held her, listened, and let her know she wasn't alone. The understanding can come later. The comfort had to come first.
To anyone being bullied
I see you. I know how hard it is to walk into a place where someone makes you feel small. I know how heavy it is to carry those words home.
Please hear this: what they say about you is not the truth about you. More often than not, it's a reflection of how they feel about themselves.
And to the parents out there wiping away tears this week, I'm right there with you.
Let's keep teaching our kids, and ourselves, to make each other feel big instead of small. One kind word at a time, let's make the world a kinder place for everyone.
Mofi makes clothes for boys of every build, so they can feel as good as they look.
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